The Midnight News 5.29.01 

Posted By Hyatte on 05.29.01

Raw, Big WCW Signings, Meltzer's shame, Scherer's delight, Road Dogg, and Honky, and Honky, and more Honky! Oh, and me. 

Okay then..... oh hey, how are you? Good? Good. Not much to get into this week... more of a smattering of news here and there. Lots of stuff with Honky Tonk Man, because you love it.

KEEP THEM DOGGIES ROVIN', RAWHIIIDE

WWF Monday Night RAW was on last night. From Calgary, Alberta Canada, or however you punctuate it.

Stu Hart was there, with Bruce Hart right next to him and a row filled with other members. Finkle introduced him, Stu got up, waved, and sat down. Not exactly the two hour tribute show some thought we'd get.... but Ross and Heyman paid props. Martha Hart, Owen's widow, had already stated that if any Hart showed up at this event, she would be "sickened" to death. (Man.... how splintered is THIS family unit?)

Ironically, they showed Jerry "The King" Lawler attacking the new "King of the Ring" Bret Hart for the King Of The Ring flashback. Maybe that wasn't so ironic, since irony can only be applied to random circumstances.

Anyway, it was a big night for self-referencing the past and a big night for Benoit and Jericho. There will be TONS of recaps coming in the next day (or two, if you count the mighty Mop-Up).... so why spoil their hard .... heh... their work (be honest, I'm the ONLY one who puts any real effort into these recaps)

In fact, Sean McClusky (who seems perfectly happy to be called "Beanie".... for some silly reason) has the 411 RAW recap all primed and ready.

Lance Storm showed up.... as did some major hints that this WCW "Invasion" has just gotten underway.

Plus, there was the ending, where Vince made the Time Keeper ring the bell before Benoit actually submitted. This is going to cause some controversy, folks.

Hey, speaking of controversy....

OOPS, THE NET DID IT AGAIN!

Yeah, remember that Kevin Kelly interview I reported on yesterday? The one that I pulled from Meltzer's site? Yeah, well... it's a hoax. Total fabrication. See, THIS is why I am up front with crediting my sources. It'll never make me a big time reporter, but at least I'll get to laugh at everyone else's F-Ups.

Anyway, Scherer reported that this was bullshwah, and gleefully sniffed that while OTHER Big Time Reporters will slap ANY story on their site, HE will confirm the report through sixteen different sources before posting it as legit. 

He further went on to say that the "reporter" who fell for this scam is obviously a "fraud", a "scam", a "virgin", a "hack", and a "stain on the mattress". He also invited the "reporter's" Mother and Wife to come to his house for a taste of his "Real Journalistic Integrity".

So, the score now is.... Scherer 2, Keller 1, and Meltzer -2.

By the way, the Torch's Bruce Mitchell will be on The Observer Live this Wednesday. Tune in just to hear a really unfunny, arrogant boob crack himself up. If Meltzer was smart, he'd have a tape of chirping crickets all set for every one of Mitchell's bombs.

Oh, how I WISH Dillard would start the Edge again.

WHO'S IN WCW THIS WEEK?

The rumors continue to swirl around which WCW big star will hook up with the WWF's WCW.

My niggaz at A1 Wrestling are swearing.... swearing on a stack of Bibles that Ric Flair, Booker T, DDP, and Scott Steiner are inches... just inches away from signing with the company and leading WCW back to glory.

Meanwhile, Scherer is saying that the WWF is interested in Kidman and Torrie Wilson, and that THEY are inches.... just inches away from signing. Torrie herself confirmed that she is very excited about coming on board on her own web site. (don't bother going.... all the good pictures are only for "members")

THE GREATEST INTERNET-CONTINENTAL CHAMPION

Because I'VE made him such a hot Net topic these days.... the Honky Tonk Man sat down with ME FOR AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!!!

Well.... no, he sat down with someone else.... and 1Bob reported it. It SHOULD'VE been me, dammit.... but alas.

This is a lengthy chat, so I broke it into two parts.... the first is the interview.... the second is where he give opinions on 30 big names. I'll save that part for the end of the news column. A little treat for you.

-He said that the WWF is in a "downward spiral" and needs to plug in more mid-carders into main event programs, just to see who would work. He said that even with such a huge pool of talent, only the Rock and Kurt Angle have hit it big in over the last two years. He hopes Saturn, Bradshaw, and Benoit get pushed.

-On why he is pissed at Roddy Piper, "Piper now owes Ken Patera $375.00 for his portion of my plane ticket. He has not paid it, but he wants the wrestlers that have done well in the business to give part of their money to a retirement fund for wrestlers. What a joke this a****** has turned out to be. He is on my "ass whipping list." The one show he tries to promote and loses all his credibility. No one in the business that reads this or what I posted on my web site would ever send this S.O.B. any money. Scumbag in my book till he pays his debt to Patera. Then I will leave him alone."

-He didn't want to drop the Inter-Continental title to Randy Savage in 1987 because at the time, he was the hottest heel on the planet. He sold out every building he played in, even the one's Hogan didn't work in. So, he held onto the title. Claims that Vince McMahon lost trust in him over this.

-He actually won the IC belt because Butch Reed was a no show to an event, and he was scheduled to win it.

-He had no troubles getting squashed by the Ultimate Warrior in Madison Square Garden.

-He always got along well with McMahon. At that time, most wrestlers didn't have contracts so he always fought tooth and nail for his share of the profits with Vince. He thinks that Vince might miss those fights they used to have.

-"Rhythm & Blues", that tag team gimmick he and Greg Valentine did. It was Pat Patterson's idea and Rick Rude named it. The gimmick kept both of them in the mid card spotlight for a good 6 more months.

-He said his WCW tenure ended when Bischoff stiffed him on a contract promise and Hogan didn't stick up for him.

-He thought the idea for a "Rockabilly" gimmick was good, but Billy Gunn was never into it, so it failed. (maybe that's because the gimmick was supposed to be for the Disco Inferno, but Disco decided to re-sign with WCW ). He says he could never be a good manager like Jimmy Hart (Umm.... GOOD manager? He said GOOD, right?)

-He has supreme confidence that Shane and Stephanie are trained enough to lead the WWF into greatness. 

-He said that Ted Turner killed WCW by opening his checkbook and "letting the rapists in the world of wrestling in."

I'll have the second half of this at the bottom.

WHATTAYOU EXPECT? HE'S A NEW AGE OUTLAW

The Torch seems to have taken the weekend off, the Observer is obviously too humiliated from that Kevin Kelly conjob.... so 1Bob is providing most of the news tonight....

The "Road Dogg" Jesse James was at an NWA Mid-Atlantic show a couple of days ago at a High School. He was set to take on the Barbarian in the main event.

During the show's intermission, RD stood in the ring and took pictures with fans. At $5 a pop.

The line was very long, and cut deep into the Intermission time, so the promoter sent someone to the ring to ask RD to stop his picture gig so the card can continue. Doggy said no and used some naughty language, on and off the mic.

Well, one thing led to another and the cops were called. An irate RD went outside with them to "cool down". Arn Anderson followed. AA came back in and said that Doggy went the other way.... he actually got so mad that he was arrested and hauled away. The prom9ters had to change the main event at the last minute and cops were brought back in just in case the fan's started a ruckus.

It is suggested that the Road Dogg really wasn't in any condition to either wrestle OR take pictures with fans. So, it looks like his time away from the rigors of the WWF hasn't helped him much.

BUT, PLUGS

Well, like I said.... 411's Raw recap is all set.

Plus, Craig Letawsky and a brand new Ask411 posted. Hey, I have a question.... why did someone name this site "411" to begin with? Actually, since I report the news and give "directions" to where I got them from.... aren't I the REAL "411" around here? 

Finally, Widro has posted a column that talks about the ending to tonight's Raw and why it has greatly offended him.... SICKENED him, in fact. I liked it, but I always like it when Widro, the cute little muskrat that he is, gets all pissed off.

Me? I have this week's And Another Thing all mapped out in my head. It's just a matter of putting fingers to keyboard. You can wait for it. I know you are dying for it.

The Mop-Up? Yeah, it's coming too. 

Okay, so without further adieu....

TAKE US HOME, HONKY

Word Association - 

Vince Russo - "He was a pervert. All he wanted was naked women strutting around. How the hell he got that position will always be a mystery. He was not the brains behind WWF, he was an errand boy. He helped with dialogue for interviews. He didn't run the WWF. Somebody in WCW really f***** up on that bastard. Where is he now?"

Sid Vicious - "Sid treated me very respectful. Nice and pleasant behind the scenes. Never was pushed the right way in WCW. Wish he had stayed in WWF. He had all the tools to be great. Hope he gets back soon. "

Kevin Nash - "Don't know him that well. He pulled a fast one on me one time at an autograph session. That is another story. Don't know how he got so powerful or was able to get the money he got out of Bischoff. If I remember correctly, he was one of the lowest drawing WWF champions of all time. Did not see what him or Hall brought to the table in WCW other than bankruptcy." 

Bret Hart being screwed by Vince McMahon in Montreal - "You got to do what you got to do to protect your business. Bret just didn't protect his part too well. I would not have worked the show. Didn't hurt Bret, he went to WCW and got a hell of a lot of money. There is a lack of honor at some turns in this business. "

Eric Bischoff- "There is not enough adjectives in the English language to describe this numb nutted c*********. He should be in jail for fraud and thievery. He stole so much of Ted Turner's money it is a crime. I hate this a****** with more than a passion. He is on my 'ass whipping list.'"

Bill Goldberg - "Here is the only person, anyone, myself included, tuned in to see on Nitro. Why Nash, as the booker, had to kill this guy off, only shows the ego that goes with "the power of the pencil." Bill should have bitch slapped Nash at the thought of that finish and walked out. He was the hottest thing in the world. I don't even know the guy, but when I saw that, I called Jimmy Hart and said, "Why would Nash do that, you guys just killed that place, your dead now, it's over. Nash has to be a double agent for doing that stupid s***, why would Hogan let Nash do that." Good luck to Bill, he had a great, short run. "

Jake Roberts - "Jake is Jake. He has always been a pro with me. He has done and said a lot of stuff. What you hear about Jake is not all true. He admits to just about everything. I have good matches with him out here on the Indy shows and we do very good business together. He has made a name for himself in more ways than one, but he is a legend. He was pushed in the same way as Savage and that dog s*** Piper. Only Hogan had a bigger push. None of them are my friends. Jake is my friend, case closed". 

Pat Patterson - "Did not get along well with Pat when I was IC Champ. Now we E-mail back and forth sometimes. He is a great finish man and developer of talent. I didn't realize back then he was so good. He is the WWF. Not some d******* like the Russos that come along. ECW and increased violence in wrestling - A good mix, but way overboard. Created a monster on the Indy circuit. Guys thought it was the wave of the future. So many guys got injured doing that stuff. Way too much. Paul E. knew better. Where are they now ?? "

Women's role in wrestling - "Definitely a place, always has been. Stripping and sex is not the role. Vince (McMahon) has a grip on it now and it is working". 

What's the greatest rib you've ever been involved in? "I really didn't get involved in those things. It was to the point of destroying people's property and I thought that was bulls***. I have seen some bad ones. Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy were the worst for destroying personal belongings. Dynamite is getting what he deserves now. A life of agony. So is Davey. "

Davey Boy Smith - "Too many steroids. Treated me ok. Lots of problems now. Very good in the ring. Lacked mic skills. Too many bad ribs. He is paying Karma now." 

Jeff Jarrett - "The most unprofessional, unethical c********* that could ever be. To steal, as a thief in the night, a gimmick and try to get over with it, showed how desperate this "little man" was to get over. Where is he now? I hope with the "chosen one guitar stuck so far up his ass he can use it for dental floss." Out of professional courtesy and ethics, you don't take a man's gimmick right in front of him and use it. Why would he try it? Not once, but three times. All he had to do was say NO, I want to do my own thing. It didn't get over the first time. Has this goof got some kind of learning disability? You damn sure don't keep trying it. Find your own s*** Jarrett, stay out of mine, hell you're dead anyway. I think he should go on my 'ass whipping list.'"

Chris Benoit - "Good guy, good wrestler, hard worker, great work ethic. I helped him when we were in Calgary. He was just starting. I knew he was going to be good. "

Triple H - "Glad to see he made it through his dog house days. That is a testament to his strong desire to be good and he is. The original Hunter Hearst gimmick was really good. I was with him when he was training at Killer Kowalski's school along with Perry Saturn. Both good guys. "

The Rock - "I wish he had been the guy I managed and then have him turn on me.
I said it when I did some WWF commentary that he has everything it takes. The look, the size, the mic skills, the psychology, the moves. He has what it takes and he is the man of this decade. He is the 'total entertainment package.'"

Jerry Lawler - "I can't continue to bash Jerry. I hope he understands from what other wrestlers besides myself have said, that lowering yourself to "begging" Vince to take you back, only made you weak and desperate. With his years in the business, he knew Stacey was not at the level as the Chynas and Litas in WWF. He should have known Vince was one to never forget. And Jerry did a lot of bad things against the WWF in the late 80's and early 90's. It was a shock to the wrestling insiders when Vince brought him in. I have bashed him, not personally, but on a business level. When he called all us stars of the WWF homosexuals, drug addicts, and steroid abusers, he never said, "there is one guy that is not one of them, Honky Tonk Man, my cousin." He painted us all with the same brush. He spent his own precious TV time every Saturday bashing us. I had to live there in Memphis and answer those allegations when I went out in public. He says he did it to save his business, and I say the same now. You opened the door, nothing is sacred. Take it like a man. "

The Undertaker - "Very quiet and polite. Shows up, does his work. Got over with a gimmick I think no one in the locker room thought would get over. Very talented, good mic skills, knew how to get the gimmick over and did it. A Buzz Sawyer story here, but I will let Taker tell it. Always nice to me."

Mick Foley - "Incredible stuff he did. Set the standards for the rest of the hard cores. I told him ten years ago, he would not be around for 5 more years. I had to apologize to him when I was in WWF 2 years ago. I said, I was wrong about you being around for 5 more years when I told you that 8 years ago, but you won't be around 5 more from now. And he isn't. I am glad for him. He was never treated with the respect he deserved for his dedication and hard work. He was on s*****, low scale contracts all the way through. He out smarted them all. He found another avenue to make his money--writing books and he is damn good at it too. Keep it up Cactus. You've earned it. "

Ted DiBiase - "Overrated on ability, bumped on every punch, never drew any houses in the WWF, blames me for him not being WWF champ. When I wouldn't job for Savage, he got passed over for the belt. Preacher man now, getting 3 grand a show to tell wrestling stories. Hell of a gimmick according to Jake "The Snake".

The Steiner Brothers - "Great tag team, great workers in singles. Don't know them personally, but Scott needs to be picked up by WWF, they could really use his new gimmick. I liked what he was doing, besides, he would whip their ass if they didn't like it." 

Ric Flair - "Been around way too long. Nothing but a liar, and a backstabbing son of a bitch. He will be remembered as bringing his boney non-trained son into the business. After all the years, and all the sons of other guys he has seen, he s*** right on the business. Buzz Sawyer stood up to a mark, defended Flair's wife's honor, went to jail for beating up the mark, and that a****** wouldn't bail Buzz out of jail. Maybe I'll whip his ass just for the sake of Buzz Sawyer." 

Bruce Prichard - "Hard worker. You have to be in order to travel with Vince and be with him 20 hours out of the day. Has some good ideas, can recognize talent, understands the politics, does his job very well and has been there a long time, that says something." 

Jimmy Snuka - "Great performer, very talented, still one of the best. A big
name guy with a great heart. No attitude from Jimmy. My friend forever. "

Wrestlemania - "As a show 'Wrestlemania' the word, means big time, celebrities, world wide audiences, great matches top to bottom. It is an event that only Vince can put on. He has done some really great ones and some mediocre ones. They are still huge media events. It is the Super Bowl of wrestling. Wrestlemania was the big difference between the two companies since its inception. WCW boys were marks for Wrestlemania. "

Lex Luger - "Don't know him at all. Never drew, got huge pushes, but the Lex
Express has run out of gas". 

Sting - "Too many matches with Flair. That whole group should have been sent home when the Nitros started. They had been there to bankrupt Crockett. Sting was smart to get a sweet deal first, then there was a domino effect with sweet deals. I hope they all write thank you notes to Ted Turner.
"
Road Dogg Jesse James - "The only Armstrong that didn't treat me with respect. The best mic skills of all of them. Seems to have some demons. I wish him well. I love his brothers and his dad, they are great guys, but I have known them for a long time. "

Arn Anderson - "Ric Flair's Beefcake. Arn knew where his bread was buttered. He and Tully were lost in WWF without Whoooo Flair. Arn is a real office guy (in Flair's office of course). Away from Flair, he was ok. I was there when Bob Armstrong pulled off his hair piece. He didn't put it in his book though. "

Finally, The Honky Tonk Man - "Outspoken, says what he feels, steps up to the plate when he has to, I take full responsibility for my actions, will answer the bell if you want to have a go at me, not the biggest, the strongest, the fastest, not the greatest bump taker or technical wrestler, average worker but could adapt to any style of opponent. Good juice man, could cut a money drawing heel interview. Still can today. Has the ability to get serious heat in and out of the ring. Drawn in every territory where I was on top. Never was anybody's Beefcake. My deal was simple, "Put me in the spot, if I draw, pay me, if I don't, fire me." Still the "Greatest WWF Intercontinental Champion of All Time."

Wow....

I liked the part where he decided right then and there to put Jeff Jarrett on his "ass whipping list".

I also liked the part where he said Bob Armstrong yanked Arn Anderson's toupee off his head.

"He didn't put that in his book".... BWAHAHAHAHAAAA.

Dynamite Kid got what he deserved? That's cold.

You know what else is cold? My enthusiasm!!!

This is Hyatte